


The Broken Dream

by takemyopenheart



Series: Love Confessions [2]
Category: Open Heart (Visual Novels)
Genre: Angst, Boss/Employee Relationship, F/M, Forbidden Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:08:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25976482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/takemyopenheart/pseuds/takemyopenheart
Summary: When all hope seems lost, Ethan and Rachel turn to their support systems, stumbling upon new realizations in the process.
Relationships: Ethan Ramsey/Main Character (Open Heart), Ethan Ramsey/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Love Confessions [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1885378
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	The Broken Dream

**Author's Note:**

> Collaboration with @whippedforethanramsey on Tumblr.

It was almost morning by the time Rachel reached her friends’ apartment. She swallowed heavily as she rapped her knuckles on the door, trying to hold back the inevitable breakdown she felt surging. She waited a few seconds before the door eventually swung open.

“Rach!? What’s wrong? What are you doing here at this hour?” Sienna spoke, her voice heavy with concern. Dread filled her eyes when she noticed the pale and empty look on Rachel’s face.

She didn’t answer her best friend’s questions. She stood there in silence, arms wrapped around herself, looking worn out and fatigued. Sienna instantly pulled her into a tight, protective hug, knowing just by the look on her friend’s face that she was in dire need of comfort. This broke the last strand of restraint that was holding Rachel together. Her knees buckled beneath her; she felt no strength left to stabilize herself. 

The tears flowed uncontrollably; her entire body wracked by sobs. “It’s over. It’s all over,” she chanted as Sienna held her, rubbing her back in a soothing motion as they rocked back and forth on the floor.

“Let’s get you inside, hm?” 

Rachel shook her head weakly, letting Sienna help her up and lead her inside to the couch in the living room. Once Sienna sat down beside her, Rachel lay her head on her lap, crying until she was too tired to continue. Sienna didn’t ask any questions; she would wait until Rachel was ready to speak. For now, she knew her best friend needed her, and she was more than willing to provide any consolation.

Slowly, the sobs died down, and she lay still, keeping a fixed gaze out the window while Sienna gently stroked her hair. Gradually, she let her eyes close and let herself drift off to a dreamless sleep.

She eventually woke up after what felt like days. For a moment, she couldn’t understand what she was doing on the couch of her old apartment, until the pang in her chest reminded her of everything that had happened last night. She noticed Sienna slouched in an armchair next to her with a book in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other.

“What time is it?” Rachel mumbled groggily.

“Oh! Hi, sleepyhead.” Sienna looked up from her book and beamed at her. “It’s almost 7 pm.”

“What!?” She bolted upright. “Oh God, I slept through the entire day!? I had a meeting with the diagnostics team. And what about my patients?” she rambled, struggling to get to her feet when her head spun due to dehydration and hunger.

“You’re not the only doctor in the hospital, Rach, and I think the team can survive a day without you just fine.” Sienna sighed when she noticed the worried look on her face and added, “Jackie and Aurora are covering our patients, and I called Dr. Banerji to let him know that we’re both taking the day off.”

Rachel took Sienna’s hand in hers, filled with gratitude, and gave her a weak but grateful smile. “Thank you for staying here with me.”

“Anything for you, Rach,” she replied, though she couldn’t shake her own curiosity as to what was affecting Rachel so deeply. “Um, do you maybe wanna talk about what happened?” she asked cautiously.

“I do, I just want everyone to come home first, is that all right?”

“Yeah, they were worried sick when they saw you asleep on the couch this morning. I had to literally push them out the door to get them to leave, though they’d probably want an explanation as to why your face looked like a pufferfish.”

Rachel chuckled softly. “Right then, I’m starving! How about we get started on dinner until they get here?” A wide grin spread across Sienna’s face in response. 

Shortly, they both got busy in preparing dinner for themselves and the rest of the gang. It was a welcomed distraction from Rachel’s own nagging thoughts.

Once everyone arrived, they all hugged Rachel in greeting, a little more tightly than usual, as if trying to provide every ounce of silent comfort they could.

Unsurprisingly, Bryce held her in his arms the longest. “Ramsey is a dead man walking if he’s hurt you in any way,” he quipped, to which Rachel laughed softly against his chest and hit him playfully.

A hearty mood filled the atmosphere as they sat down for dinner, sharing happy memories and playful anecdotes, among other things.

“So, what happened last night?” Jackie asked in a casual tone. Everyone could feel the sudden heavy silence fill the air. They looked at her pointedly. “What? Someone had to bring it up!”

Rachel hesitated for a moment, the aching from last night gripping her again. She took a deep breath and spoke up. “Ethan and I broke up.” Everyone stared blankly, too shocked to say anything. Rachel opened her mouth to say something else but couldn’t find any words. “Yeah, that’s it.” She shrugged.

Aurora was the first to speak. “No,” she spoke flatly.

Rachel looked up at her with raised brows, admittedly very confused by this response. Of everything, this wasn’t what she expected at all. “What?” she inquired.

Aurora sighed and continued. “It’s never that simple with you guys. I’ve learned this the hard way. You know all your friends are awfully stubborn and won’t leave you alone until you tell them everything. That includes me too, by the way. And then, all of us are going to do everything in our power to help you. That’s how it’s always been, and that’s how it’s going to be this time. We are all here for you, Rach.” She smiled warmly.

Rachel felt tears prick the corners of her eyes at her friend’s response. She had always known that she had found an incredible support system in her friends, and that moment only solidified her gratitude towards them. She looked around the table. Every one of them had the same concerned and protective look in their eyes.

She felt comfortable enough to finally say what she’d been trying to push in the back of her mind. She breathed a heavy sigh, while they stayed silent, waiting for her to speak.

“I told Ethan that I love him and… he said that he doesn’t believe in it. To him it’s nothing more than a chemical reaction. And that’s it…” Rachel gulped as Ethan’s stern tone returned to her. She felt so offended that he couldn’t even bring himself to respect her feelings for him, moreover, ridiculed them as if to twist the knife. She continued and filled everyone in on the rest of the events of the previous night.

“That’s so ignorant!” Sienna exclaimed, indignation seeped into her voice.

“Damn. I know that man can be cold, but I never thought he’d stoop that low,” Elijah added.

“He’s just scared of love,” Bryce suddenly interjected, a solemn tone tinged in his words.

“What?” Sienna asked before Rachel had the chance.

“Okay, I know it’s unexpected that I’m being the reasonable one here, but it’s obvious that Ramsey’s just scared of love. Why else would he react that way?”

“…because he doesn’t believe in love. Weren’t you listening?” Aurora countered.

He shook his head in response. “Everyone says weird things when they’re terrified. It’s human nature to try to defend yourself when you’re feeling vulnerable. And a mature person like Dr. Ramsey acting like that can only mean that he must have had some traumatic experiences in his past that made him think and act this way. Maybe that’s why he’s always been so stone cold.”

Silence hung in the air as they considered his brief analysis. “I hate to say this but the ken doll here is actually making sense,” Jackie spoke up.

While the rest of the group went on speculating and theorizing the possible explanations behind Ethan’s cold demeanor, Rachel suddenly felt suffocated with anxiety and the thoughts swarming inside her head. She knew that Bryce was right. Or at least she did in her heart. Her anger just made it harder for her to comprehend it.

For the next few days, Ethan and Rachel did everything in their power to avoid any unnecessary interaction. Their interactions remained strictly professional and very limited. Though every time they were in each other’s presence and looked into the other’s eyes, that night came rushing back to them, opening the non-healing wounds all over again.

The both of them blindly blamed the other for their pain, not realizing even for a second that it was their own guilt that was consuming them.

Anger surged through Ethan’s veins, fueling him and his every action. He submerged himself into his work, only going to his apartment to shower and change, and sometimes to sleep. With Rachel missing from his side, he went back to the careless attitude of being arrogant and rude to everyone around him. If it was even possible, he found himself more irritable than ever. Instead of taking the time to process everything that happened, he buried it deep within himself, not allowing it to resurface, and was successful in this attempt to some extent.

Every time he saw her, an unrecognizable pain twisted in his chest. It made him want to rip his heart out to be rid of the agony. He felt betrayed by his own body. He didn’t want to experience it, he commanded himself to not feel it, but the feeling only grew stronger each time. That kind of powerlessness on himself scared Ethan to death. _What was it? Why was it happening against his will?_

An entire month passed by and things remained equally bleak in their lives. Slowly, the initial anger subsided, and now both of them could only see their own mistakes that led to the destruction of their relationship. The only anger and resentment that remained in them was against themselves. Yet, they couldn’t find the courage to talk to the other. The trance that they had fallen into felt too hard to break. The both of them believed that the other was better off without them, they made their own assumptions, and drew their own conclusions. Neither wanted to hurt the other more than they already had.

Ethan always felt a sense of security because Rachel had her friends to be there for her. It comforted him to know that she was being taken care of. The looks he received from all of her friends made him keenly aware they all knew what had happened. But that’s who Rachel was. There was a great deal of trust between them, and she would rely on that support system and confide in them.

Although, every time he thought about it, he was reminded that the one person whom he used to confide in, hadn’t spoken to him in over a month, and it was all his fault entirely. He pushed her away. But the question that really baffled his mind was whether the looks he received reflected sympathy instead of anger.

The diagnostics team had been stuck on a particularly hard case for days now. They were treating a patient who showed similar symptoms to other illnesses, and the last thing they wanted was to misdiagnose. So he went over the casefile again, deep in concentration to pinpoint anything that stood out to him.

The door to Ethan’s office was open. Rachel watched him as he pored over the files in his hands. It had been over a month since they last had any happy moments in this room, but still, she felt a pull that took her back to the joyous memories they once shared every time she entered the room. Every object, every corner of this office was ingrained in her mind. 

All too quickly, she shook herself out of the trance and walked over to him. He didn’t look up and didn’t need to. He had always been able to identify her presence by the sound of her footsteps and the smell of her perfume.

She looked down at the papers in her hand, reading over the symptoms in her head, and the diagnosis she’d come to.

“I was going over Ms. Donovan’s casefile. Can it be Polymyalgia Rheumatica?” she inquired.

“No, it can’t be that, Rookie. It wouldn’t explain her memory loss. We can—”

He stopped abruptly, realizing instantly the word that just left his lips, that it was the first time he had called her Rookie since their breakup. It rolled off so naturally, he wasn’t aware of it until it was too late.

He looked up at her tentatively. Her eyes were fixed down, as though refusing to meet his. No expression played on her face, it was unreadable, which made him wonder that she might have not paid attention to what he said. Glancing down at her hands, he noticed how she clutched the reports a little too tightly. Realizing that he was staring, he quickly averted his gaze and focused on his monitor again.

Rachel’s heart skipped a beat as the name _Rookie_ fell from his lips. She could feel her knees trembling, threatening to give out. The fact that it took only one word from him to have such an effect on her made her feel so angry and so powerless. She commanded herself to get a grip, doing everything in her power to keep a poker face.

Keeping her eyes glued to the reports she held, she spoke again, steadily. “I’ll keep you updated on any progress that we make. I’ll look into her family history and order more blood tests.” She suppressed a shaky breath as she finished speaking. 

The air seemed to be sucked out of her. She couldn’t lift her head for fear that he could see the anguish building in her eyes. Before she could stop it, a lone tear made its escape, rolling down her cheek and falling onto the sheet of paper she stared at so intently, smearing the ink in the process. 

In one swift motion, she wiped her damp cheek, ridding any evidence of her sudden lapse of restraint. Looking up, she noticed Ethan’s gaze fixed on the screen in front of him, seemingly unaware of the incident.

“Hm, that’ll be all, Dr. Edward,” he dismissed her, and she hurriedly made her way to the door after dropping the file on the corner of his desk. 

He watched her retreating form, and when she disappeared from view, picked up the file she just had. His eyes skimmed over the paper, until they settled on the small damp stain in the center of the page. His fingers instinctively traced it, knowing fully well the source of it. The resentment came flooding back. He was overwhelmed by the guilt, the pain he tried to bury, and something else, something mysterious in his heart that he couldn’t explain.

Conflicting emotions have a way of making everything else look dreary. He knew he couldn’t get any more work done now. So, he stood up and walked out of his office and down the corridor with no destination in mind. He was too consumed, trying to comprehend that gut wrenching feeling as he strolled aimlessly, until he found himself in front of Dr. Banerji’s office.

After a slight hesitation, he knocked on the door. His mentor’s voice announced to come in, and the older doctor’s face lit up upon seeing his friend at the door. “Ah, Ethan, come on in!” He beamed, greeting him with a warm smile.

Ethan took the seat opposite him without saying a word. He sat there silently for a couple of minutes, staring down at his hands. Neither Dr. Banerji nor Ethan broke the stretching silence. Ethan could feel the doctor’s piercing gaze on him. He always felt like Naveen could see right through him.

Finally, he spoke. “I don’t know why I’m here…”

“I didn’t ask.” The older doctor smiled.

Naveen knew exactly what had put Ethan in such a state of misery, even when he didn’t know it himself yet. The entire hospital was aware of Ethan and Rachel’s breakup, although no one knew the reason behind it. Some absurd gossip floating around the hospital made its way to his ears, but he knew that it was far from the truth.

“I didn’t want to hurt her, Naveen. I never wanted to hurt her,” Ethan’s trembling voice suddenly interrupted his thoughts.

“I know, dear boy,” he answered sympathetically.

“The absurdity of people’s faith in an unsubstantiated thing such as love is completely lost on me. I’ve studied medicine for years and have practiced it for even longer. I _understand_ the chemistry of the human brain. How can one even think that love is real? I can’t give her what she wants. I’ve made my peace with it now. She’ll find someone much more deserving of her than I am,” Ethan spoke, trying his damn hardest to keep his voice steady.

“Is it that you don’t believe in love, Ethan? Or is it that you don’t know what love is?” Naveen commented, calling out his bluff.

“I’m a grown man! Of course, I know what _love_ is!” Ethan snapped, offended by the absurdity of his words.

Naveen chuckled with amusement. “What _is_ love, Ethan?” he asked him with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“I—ahem,” Ethan shifted in his seat uncomfortably, trying to put it into words.

Naveen drew a heavy sigh and clasped his hands in front of him, a somber look passing over his features. “How have you been feeling without her by your side, Ethan?”

He furrowed his brows, processing the question thrown at him. He could only be honest. “Incomplete…” he trailed off.

“Like a part of you is missing? Like your world is only slightly dimmer without her there?” Ethan regarded him, intently focused on his accurate words. “Like you’re consumed by her entirely and the fluttering sensation coursing through you, even when you only think of her?”

Ethan couldn’t help but huff out a laugh, though the more he let the words settle, the more they rang true.

“How do you know so much about these _fluttering sensations_ , old man?” he asked, air quoting the words.

Naveen’s smile faded, replaced by an almost somber expression, as though reliving a wistful memory. “I came very close to being married once.”

Ethan’s eyebrows shot up in genuine surprise. “You did?”

“Yes… I wanted to share a life with this person because no one made me feel the way she did. I couldn’t picture myself without her by my side. It wasn’t dependency, it was a partnership. I wanted to share everything with her, to go through life building memories to last a lifetime. Each day from the moment she came into my life felt brand new. It was as though the sun shone brighter, my world became more vivid with every color of the rainbow. Scoff all you want, but there wasn’t a day that I didn’t feel whole. In a crowded room she was the only one to catch my eye. I loved all her imperfections, because no one’s perfect. Even the person you’re in love with, and that’s how you know you’re in love, Ethan. When you can see all the imperfections and still love every one of them. When you can fully be yourself around them without fear of judgement. When you can see a future with them in it.”

Ethan had no words. He stared blankly, surprised to find himself digesting every word. Everything he spoke of resonated with the emotions he felt around Rachel. It’s exactly how she made him feel, and there was a word for it. He felt _love_. The type of love he couldn’t comprehend suddenly began to make sense. The fluttering sensation in the pit of his stomach grew more pronounced as he processed Naveen’s words.

Naveen spoke up again, sensing the wheels in Ethan’s head turning. “Ethan, don’t make the same mistakes I made. I blame myself every day for having thrown it all away for work. It’s a loss I never regained. You don’t want that. The only thing you have to ask yourself is, do you want to live a life without her in it?”

Ethan stayed silent for a long moment, until he finally spoke, not bothering to hide the hurt that lingered. “Why didn’t she try to talk to me, Naveen? It’s been over a month! She hasn’t said a word to me apart from our work.”

“You hurt her too, dear boy. Don’t let your agony blind you towards what she went through. She stuck by you every time, and you’re a difficult person to stick by, you know that. Yet, she has always gone out of her way to be there for you. And you not only told her that you will never love her, but also insulted her love for you. It was natural for her to be furious at you.”

Ethan felt nothing but shame at his actions. He recalled that it was probably the first time in forever that he gave a damn about how his behavior had affected someone. And it didn’t help that the person was someone he loved.

“Loved?” he repeated out loud in a whisper. “I love her?” He looked up to Naveen, as though seeking some confirmation.

“Yes, dear boy. You’re in love. And you were too stupid to realize it all this time.” Naveen let out an amused chuckle.

“I-I have to go,” Ethan blurted out in an urgent tone, already rising from his chair.

“Of course.” Naveen smiled knowingly.

Ethan rushed out of Naveen’s office and strode down the hallway as fast as he could. His eyes scanned for her at every corner he turned. A stupid grin was plastered on his face, and he didn’t even bother to try to stop himself. That earned him a few baffled looks from the hospital staff. He didn’t care about anyone except for her at that moment. He was in love, after all. The more he acknowledged it to himself, the more his deep-seated pain seemed to fade. He finally had a name for the feeling that had rendered him powerless and restless for so long and boy, was he glad about it.

He knew he had hurt Rachel terribly, and it’d take more than a love confession for her to forgive him, but he also knew that he’d do anything for her. Anything. He was more than thrilled to finally tell her how he felt. All he wanted was to see the look on her face as he confessed it. This reminded him of how she would’ve felt when she confessed her feelings and he reacted so horribly. The guilt returned in his heart and the realization that he didn’t deserve Rachel. He didn’t know how he’d get her to forgive him, but what he did know was that he needed to find her right then. He wasn’t going to self-sabotage a good thing this time.

When he couldn’t find her in the hospital, he quickly deduced that the only other place that she could be at this hour was in her favorite coffee shop.

He rushed out of the hospital as soon as he grabbed his coat and wallet. Much to his annoyance, it was raining outside. He shielded himself with his coat and ran towards the café. When he finally reached the location, he was half drenched and out of breath. 

His eyes immediately spotted her sitting alone in her favorite seat. She had changed into a multi-colored knee-length flowy dress with a plunging neckline. Despite the gloomy weather outside, she made the world look colorful. She looked radiantly breathtaking, or maybe it was the fact that he looked at her with newfound adoration. 

He felt himself drawn towards her and stepped forward to reach her. She was facing away from the door, so she couldn’t see him. As he reached closer, he noticed that she was in the middle of a phone call. Her voice beamed at whomever she spoke to. Ethan stopped right behind her as she suddenly burst into a peal of hearty laughter, her voice ringing around her, and his heart leaped with joy at the sound of her delightful laugh. He missed this sound so much, he missed _her_.

“Alex, you’ve been at my throat for weeks for this lunch date and now when I finally agree to this, you’re thirty minutes late? You dimwit!” She laughed again.

Ethan’s breath hitched in his throat at those words. A thousand questions swam through his head all at once. _Alex? Lunch date? Is she dressed up from him? And he had been trying his shot with her for weeks? Nothing made sense to him._

Rachel’s voice reached his ears again. “If I don’t see you walking through those doors,” she said, pointing to the entrance behind her without turning around, making Ethan stiffen, “within five minutes, I’ll walk out of here, and I’ll never listen to any more of your pleas ever again.” She tried to sound serious and threatening, but her playful tone was a dead giveaway. She ended the phone call, chuckling to herself.

_‘She’s moved on. I’m too late. He’s already making her happier than I ever could,’_ he thought to himself. 

He tried to find that ounce of courage to speak up and let it out all at once, but only found himself slowly retreating, unable to find any. He didn’t want to ruin what she had now. He had caused her enough pain and hurt. It was about time that she found someone who actually deserved her. 

With that in mind and one last glance at her, he turned away, stepping out into the pouring rain, relieved that the tears would be hidden under the heavy downpour.


End file.
